No need to worry. While proposing is indeed a significant (and emotional) life choice, it’s not something you should stress about. Approach it logically by breaking down the proposal step by step.
Yes, we understand: easier said than done. Fortunately, being in the diamond engagement ring industry, we’ve learned a lot about marriage proposals. Let us guide you through planning the ideal proposal.
Step 1: Ensure You’re Truly Ready to Propose
We’ve all heard tales of people getting engaged mere weeks — or even days — after meeting. Although this doesn’t spell doom for the marriage, it could mean that the couple hasn’t fully thought it through.
But that’s not you. You’ve been with your partner for months or even years and feel ready for this big commitment. Even so, consider these questions:
- Have you had the crucial, albeit tough, discussions? It might not be romantic, but discussing your partner’s views on significant life events — like kids and financial sharing — is essential before marriage. It’s crucial to align on whether or not you’ll have children, whether or not you’ll share a bank account, and what your future aspirations are. Miscommunication or a lack thereof on these key topics can lead to resentment or divorce later. Make sure you’re in sync (or at least willing to compromise) before proposing.
- Is your communication effective? All couples argue, but healthy marriages depend on how you communicate and resolve conflicts. If you frequently fight, hold grudges, or avoid working out disagreements, it might be wise to reconsider the proposal for now. Fighting isn’t a dealbreaker, but seeking therapy to improve your communication before proposing might be beneficial.
- Who will finance the ring? By now, you’ve probably discussed marriage a few times, but do you know her specific wishes? It’s important to openly talk about the ring’s cost, style, and who will pay for it before proposing.
Step 2: Choose the Right Moment for Your Proposal
While spontaneous movie proposals can be charming, a bit of planning is advisable before popping the big question.
Consider these factors before setting a date:
- Desired length of engagement: Think about how long you want to be engaged before the wedding and then work backward to choose a date.
- Involving family: Many people propose during the holidays since it’s easier for family to be present. If your future spouse would appreciate this, planning around Thanksgiving or Christmas might be ideal.
- Favorite season or event: Does your partner have a favorite season, like the first day of fall or New Year’s? Incorporating their favorite time of year or event might add a special touch to your proposal.
Step 3: Finalize the Proposal Date
Once you’ve thought it through and picked a date, it’s time to commit to it! Use this date as your starting point for all your planning — from organizing family attendance to planning a special trip around the proposal.
Whatever you choose, ensure it holds special meaning for both of you. There’s no need for elaborate plans or including others if that’s not your style as a couple. If proposing on a typical Saturday night would make her happy, go with that. If she’d enjoy a lavish party, opt for that.
Ultimately, trust your instincts.
